Weird R & D: Google Baba to Ramdev Baba.

Google is my God, my messiah, my very own customized, gender- neutral Baba. Any question I have on my mind, it has an answer. It is an amazing guru for anyone who  has an insatiable appetite for information. After all, the old adage goes –Information is power. Nevertheless, Einstein would argue otherwise placing imagination on the highest pedestal. However, I know now, why people say, ‘Information is power.’ I feel powerful with all the tools and information that Google offered me.

Google loves me  unconditionally,  expecting nothing in return. I love Google for  that and pray that this friendship lasts for ever. I promise to keep my side of the bargain by keeping my mind and thought active with constant hunger for more, asking questions until I take my last breath, and hope that it’ll do its share of providing me with my daily dose of information.

Now you may ask, why all this excitement all of a sudden? I have a reason. These days I am into Physiognomy. I joined a Physiognomy study circle on a social networking site and I am constantly in doubt pertaining to various aspects of it and persistently refer to what is out there in the big,’bad www world. I have been using Google a lot and in the process fell in love with it; but for now let me not digress too much.

 “Physiognomy (from the Gk. “physis” meaning ‘nature’ and “gnomon” meaning ‘judge’ or ‘interpreter’) is the assessment of a person’s character or personality from their outer appearance, especially the face. The term physiognomy can also refer to the general appearance of a person, object or terrain, without reference to its implied characteristics…” (Wikki)

I was marveling at how Physiognomy was being made into a science, with a hypothesis and a wide open challenge to accept the methodology or not! I was intrigued and started applying it to all the people I saw; even those on television. I love it when I do it to the politicians. It is  mind numbing to actually see their insides and their character. If you don’t believe me, try it!

As I took a deep breath and continued to chew on the cud of my Physiognomy thoughts, I happened to see Baba Ramdev on the television screen.

My thoughts were instantly filled with information pertaining to this man.

And while we are at it, did you ever watch our dear man Ramdev Baba talking on all subjects under the sun as if he is an authority on each and every one of them? Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against the man. However, I do believe that  Yoga is his forte and I love the way he teaches it and all, but don’t you think he should just stick to his craft? Rather than talk like a walking, talking encyclopedia? He is better than our Wikipedia.  No visuals or drama there but here we have the full meal-deal. You don’t agree with me? Okay, then you leave me no option but to share my side of the arguments based on facts I know and twisted arguments that I can create for any situation.

Our Baba’s favorite pastime is to slam the pop (soft drink) companies and out rightly insult them. He goes to the extent of equating the drinks to a toilet cleaner!

Take a step back and think of how a CEO of these companies would react to this kind of slander? If I were in CEO’s shoes, what would I say, that would increase the sales of my company and more people drank pop?

I would say:

“Baba Ji, Namaste. Please don’t mind my argument. This is just my side of the story. You may take it or leave it. As a human being, I have the right to speak my mind and so, here it is.

If pop cleans the toilets so well, as you “proclaim” in your shows on TV, then I think every Indian should be given a good dose of it.

The main ingredient in toilet cleaner is hydrogen chloride. That is hydrochloric acid when mixed with water and our body too, produces HCL to do some cleaning. May be an over dose of cleaning will do all Indians some good. Let’s hope with drinking pop, we have better Indians in the future. What do you think? If a toilet can come sparkling clean like it is put on display, I am sure human body also would be cleansed of its venom. Let’s all drink more pop and cleanse ourselves of all the evil insides!

Also, here is a suggestion for an experiment. Use the techniques of Physiognomy on a person for a few months and then get him/her to drink pop for a few months and then observe the person again. we can slay two beasts in one shot – establish Physiognomy as a science and put and end to the pop debate for ever. What do you say? Up for the challenge Baba ji?”

(835 words)

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